Tag Archives: weight gain

27 Weeks

And I’m mere days away from the third trimester. I feel ginormous, my lungs feel squished and I’m constantly having to sit ridiculously upright in an attempt to stretch out my torso and not feel like my internal organs are being crushed. All that and I still have thirteen weeks to go? Where am I going to fit the rest of him in???

twenty seven weeks

 

The husband and I spent a few days in London last week (this pic was snapped in the hotel room mirror). I got to learn what it is like to be pregnant is ridiculous heat. It turns out it largely involves feet and ankles swelling to the point that it looked like I was baking loaves of bread in my shoes. That and all the rich holiday food meant that when I got home and stood on the scales it became apparent that at 27 weeks I have gained 44lbs.

Horrified doesn’t even come into it. I haven’t been able to stop eating but when I saw that number I realised that enough is enough and I have spent the last week cutting the crap and making sure I eat right. I think some of that weight must have been retained water because of the heat, but either way I have managed to lose eight pounds this week. I’d like to lose another eleven and then maintain at that until the end of the pregnancy to keep me to the total weight gain I should have had.

Yes, yes I know you’re not supposed to diet when pregnant, but really I’ve just been eating a very sensible diet. To give the example of one day last week for breakfast I had chopped banana, strawberries and raspberries topped with an organic bio yogurt, a handful of granola and a teaspoon of honey, lunch was a salad of spinach leaves, spring onions, tomato, shredded carrot, chopped apple and lean ham with a wholemeal pitta bread and some balsamic dressing, and dinner was a lamb tagine with wholewheat couscous. So I’m hardly starving myself! Right now I still weigh a few pounds more than I did after Little A was born and I cannot bear the thought of ending this pregnancy with a mountain of fat to shift when I was already  7lbs short of my little A pre-pregnancy weight when I got this BFP.

Speaking of Little A… I really thought she would have weaned herself by now. We reached a point where she was going a few days sometimes between nursings. I assumed that the trip to London would be the  end of it, three days away with no boob access at all. I didn’t bother to bring a pump or anything in an attempt to keep supply going. If anything she’s had a renewed interest since I got back, including a whole new vocabulary to  go with it “I want the boob. I want this one” *points*.

I’m definitely in the throes of a nursing aversion. I HATE nursing her, it makes me skin crawl and gets me so cranky and agitated. She seems to be especially fussy while nursing too, poking at me, grabbing my face, generally mucking around. I know most of the time I am sitting with an involuntary horrified expression on my face. It is so weird to me because I am so passionate about breastfeeding but this seems to be a physical, visceral reaction that I have NO control over. I’m sticking it out though, if she weans before the baby arrives then that’s fine, if she doesn’t and we end up tandem nursing that is okay too as I’m sure these feelings will pass by then (please don’t last for the next thirteen weeks!)

 

 

12 Weeks

 

Here is how are looking at 12 weeks. I also weighed myself yesterday morning and discovered I have put on a staggering 14 pounds in the last 12 weeks, so I took myself to my nearest Slimming World class last night and signed up. I actually feel pretty nervous about it, I mean aside from the nausea which took the shine off it somewhat, it has been wonderfully liberating in some ways to spend three months eating crap, it certainly involved less effort on my part as I didn’t have to worry about the effort of meal planning or cooking. The results of three months of eating crap are plan and I’m more terrified of piling weight on than I am of going without cake, I think. I am pretty concerned about going without cake. Possibly it would be easier if the house wasn’t currently full of half the contents of a Thornton’s chocolate shop, but something has got to give and I’d rather it wasn’t the seat of my trousers when I bend over. Slimming World is at least approved for pregnancy, so it’s no crazy dieting, just healthy eating. My best friend (with whom I share too much) thinks I’m a bit crazy to go and pay someone to tell me what I already know about healthy eating, but it’s not that, it’s the accountability that I need and the fear of being weighed in public.

The scan is on Friday. I’m feeling quite nervous about it, largely because the sickness seems to have faded away, and rather than rejoicing that I feel more human I’m just feeling paranoid that it’s a sign something has gone wrong. Hopefully it is just rampant paranoia. I will post on Friday anyway with an update.

In the meantime I hope you all have had a very Merry Christmas.

11 weeks & 2 days

I may have felt some movement yesterday, or I may have needed to fart. Frankly at this stage it’s 50/50 that it could have been either one, okay maybe I’m exaggerating, or downright lying, baby movement is a possibility, breaking wind is an inevitability.

I am starting to feel a little more human though. There’s still some nausea but it’s falling to acceptable levels (or maybe by comparison with how it was last week in the grip of the norovirus anything is an improvement). I am feeling like I can start tackling that whole healthy eating thing though. I feel under a lot of (imagined or self-generated) pressure to stop stuffing myself to the gills with crap and reverse the weight gaining trend. I accept that a certain amount of weight gain is not only acceptable but highly desirable in pregnancy, but I’ve exceeded that. I haven’t actually weighed myself in a few weeks (since the booking appointment) but I can almost feel my ass and thighs spreading as my stomach creeps outwards.

Yesterday was something of a last hooray crap-eating wise, today has at least started better. I had a bagel with a small amount of reduced fat cream cheese and some smoked salmon for breakfast, a banana for a snack, and some soup and crackers for lunch. Dinner is going to be a very healthy stir fry with some lean chicken. It’s the kind of diet I thrived on in Weight Watchers (just to clarify I am on maintenance points) so hopefully I can kiss goodbye the real excess poundage and the bloating and delightful constipation.

I got the appointment in the post today for my 12 week scan. It’s on the 30th of December (so I’ll be a day shy of 13 weeks). Where I live all antenatal care is consultant led. They’ve given me a different consultant to the one I had the last two times and I’m a bit nervous about that as my old consultant was very supportive of home birth. I don’t want to come up against someone who could be hostile, largely because I’m not sure I have the energy to have the home birth argument for the 3rd time, but also while the nausea is fading the raging irrationality and mood swings have not. I was at a Christmas concert last night and during the interval they were handing out mulled wine, shortbread biscuits and mince pies. I got into the queue to get a mince pie for my eldest daughter, while all I wanted was a shortbread biscuit. Finally I got to the head of the queue some a guy cut in front of me and took the last biscuit. I actually had to stop myself from swearing at him “You lousy son of a motherless fuck! CHOKE ON IT!!!!!!!! CHOKE ON IT!!!!!!!”

Where was I?

Oh yes, so in just under 2 weeks we’ll get to see Poppler again. Won’t that be nice?

And finally – here is the promised 11 week bump picture. In future I shall take all pictures myself, my husband is RUBBISH at it, including the fact that he didn’t think to tell me that my dress was sitting weird at the back. I begged him to take lots of photos during Squish’s birth. I think I got one that was unusable.

See? HUGE! and given that the baby is roughly the size of a lime (utterly knackered stomach muscles aside) this has got to owe a lot to my penchant for cheese and onion flavour crisps.

Fatty Fat Fat

I’m feeling very fat at the moment.

I went to Weight Watchers on Wednesday night to fess up to my leader about my pregnancy so she would stop harassing me on Facebook about getting back to a meeting (okay she wasn’t really harassing me, I just got a sense of mild disapproval from her every time I posted a picture of anything I’d baked). I had gained some weight since the last time (5.5lbs since August) and she was just about to revoke my precious gold membership card when I told her that I’m pregnant, so instead I was told to go away until after I had the baby and then I have six months to get back to my goal weight before they’ll make me start paying membership fees again.

I feel a bit bereft, a bit cut off and struggling with the thought that it’s okay for me to gain a bit of weight. You see as I’ve manage to backslide to the tune of 14lbs already since April I’m terrified that when I give birth I’ll find myself at 17 stone (238lbs) again.

I bought a 12 week tracker diary at the meeting and I’ve put myself on maintenance points and so far I’ve had 3 good days (took some gentle exercise, ate within my points etc) but I was utterly dismayed when I stepped on the scales yesterday morning and saw I had gained a pound and that my waist has expanded by three inches already.

When I’ve spent the better part of the last two years focusing on reducing everything about myself it is very hard to change my head space. I did a quick google to find some pregnancy weight gain estimators and they are depressing me because even though my BMI is below 25 (23.9 to be exact) they are all telling me I’m fatter than I should be, by 5 or 6lbs. What am I supposed to do with that information? All it makes me want to do is cut back and lose those 5 or 6lbs instead of focusing on the fact that I should only gain 25 to 35lbs.

It’s funny, when I was hugely overweight and pregnant my weight never bothered. I felt more comfortable with my fat self because I could say “I’m pregnant!” but the truth is right now I feel much fatter than I ever did back then.

I may be a teensy bit of a control freak you see, who doesn’t trust herself to exercise self control and finds it quite hard to surrender to any process.

Obviously the most important thing is that I am healthy and that the baby is healthy and that it gets all the nutrients that it needs to grow and thrive, and I am trying to focus on that. I think it’ll just take a while before I can make the mental adjustment and in the meantime I have to just keep plugging away at staying within my points and making sure I eat right and move more.

So without further ado…. this is how I looked at 4 weeks 5 days. In my defense my stomach tone is a bit knackered from 3 previous pregnancies and all the weight loss, and the newly pregnant bloat.