Tag Archives: weaning

Come on lil eggy.

 

 

 This is the OPK I did last night. I’m fairly certain it’s a positive. I repeated it this morning and again this afternoon and I can see the surge fading out again. Right now I’m having some niggling pains in my right side which I hope are ovulation. I can’t help but be excited. I have read so much stuff about how you’re more fertile after a miscarriage and I hope it’s true. It’s certainly true in my case that I conceived my daughter right after my last miscarriage and she’s a very healthy almost two year old who disrupted our Jo Jingles music class this morning with loud demands for “boob!”

I really have to come up with another word for that.

But as I said I’m excited. I’m excited to think that we have another shot at this and I maybe don’t have to wait around weeks and weeks to ovulate again. I have cut down pretty drastically on the amount that dd is nursing, it’s maybe two or three times a day now and doesn’t tend to be at all after about 3 o’clock in the afternoon. I think my hormones are stabilising, my BBT hasn’t been as rocky, though I have been having to deal with estrogen induced acne. It’s hard to feel sexy when your face has broken out like a teenager’s. It all feels more like it did when I had a normal regular cycle all those years ago. I used to have one of those nice entirely predictable 28 day cycles, the only time it ever threw me was the month before I conceived my son, and aren’t I glad about that?

I’m also a little glad that I don’t have to face endless weeks of SMEPing.

All that remains now is to see if my temperature rises and I can confirm ovulation. I am thinking that maybe I will stop temping once ovulation has been confirmed. I want to at least try and stay a little relaxed and not agonise over what the thermometer is telling me. I’d also like to try and hold out on testing. For the start I don’t want to spend stupid amounts of money on tests again when ultimately they have no effect whatsoever on the outcome.

So fingers crossed for me that there is an egg on the way out and that it gets to make a nice new friend when it does, and in 9 months we get to say our family is complete.

Operation Boob Reduction

Yesterday was day one of, well not weaning exactly, but significantly reducing the amount of time my youngest spends nursing. I was quite intimidated at the prospect,  and from the way the morning went, rightly so.

She had ended up in the bed with us the night before so there were several nursing sessions throughout the night, big long protracted ones where she used me as a human dummy.

We got up at 6.30 yesterday morning so I decided her last nursing session would be the only one that morning and I wasn’t at home to any more before 12 o’clock. She was not happy about this arrangement. There was a lot of bribery, tears and tantrums (not all by her). Finally my best friend rescued us by arriving in her car to take us all out to a soft play centre as we hoped this would distract the baby from her demands for “enuff!”

And it worked. It was 12.30 before she climbed onto my lap again and took a decent 10 minute feed. I then managed to stretch it to 4 o’clock before the next one and then finally she had one more before bed.

Day 2 now and I’m hoping to repeat the pattern, and hoping that it’s enough to make a difference.

I should have just bought a big Toblerone….

Well the verdict is in.

Urine – negative.

Beta HCG – negative.

I asked what the level was. 1-5 is considered not pregnant, 5-20 is considered possible pregnant, re-test, above 25 is pregnant.

My level? <1.

So I can safely conclude that the pound shops tests were shite and their manufacturers are bastards.

I have a bit of rage going on about the whole thing, not least because I texted my hubby to tell him the news and that I was quite upset and he responded with “I think I have a mouth ulcer, it’s really sore. Do we have any bonjela at home?”

So I am big fat back to square one and even more annoyed with myself because I haven’t taken my temperature or any of the agnus castus or evening primrose oil or anything (apart from folic acid) for the last few days.

I feel like a proper fool.

I’m really beginning to think that maybe I do need to wean my daughter, or at least drastically cut back on the amount that she is feeding. We night weaned a while ago but it has occurred to me that she’s nursing maybe as much as 15 times a day aside from that. It seems like every time my ass hits a seat she’s clambering on to my knee to demand “eeenuff!” (It’s my belief that she calls it this because I’ll sometimes break the latch, sit her down and say you’ve had enough). The sessions don’t last very long, maybe just a couple of minutes but still, we can fit six or seven of them in before lunch.

I don’t really know how to break the habit. I’ve tried offering her alternatives like juice or fruit (we even tried hot chocolate once) but all I get is a stern “no” and then further demands for “enuff”. I think perhaps I may just have to never sit down in front of her for a fortnight or so. Failing that maybe I could run away for a week and hope she forgets about it in the meantime.

I am so upset. I did have my hopes up. I did start quietly making little baby plans in my head. I liked sitting with my husband a couple of nights ago and chatting about the practicalities of having a new baby, about names we liked, about how we’d stay team yellow this time or whether or not I’d have my third home birth or go the new midwifery unit near by.

It’s shitty to have all that taken away and to still be no closer to having it. I’m a little scared that I will never have it again.

I could do with a big toblerone about now.