This is the OPK I did last night. I’m fairly certain it’s a positive. I repeated it this morning and again this afternoon and I can see the surge fading out again. Right now I’m having some niggling pains in my right side which I hope are ovulation. I can’t help but be excited. I have read so much stuff about how you’re more fertile after a miscarriage and I hope it’s true. It’s certainly true in my case that I conceived my daughter right after my last miscarriage and she’s a very healthy almost two year old who disrupted our Jo Jingles music class this morning with loud demands for “boob!”
I really have to come up with another word for that.
But as I said I’m excited. I’m excited to think that we have another shot at this and I maybe don’t have to wait around weeks and weeks to ovulate again. I have cut down pretty drastically on the amount that dd is nursing, it’s maybe two or three times a day now and doesn’t tend to be at all after about 3 o’clock in the afternoon. I think my hormones are stabilising, my BBT hasn’t been as rocky, though I have been having to deal with estrogen induced acne. It’s hard to feel sexy when your face has broken out like a teenager’s. It all feels more like it did when I had a normal regular cycle all those years ago. I used to have one of those nice entirely predictable 28 day cycles, the only time it ever threw me was the month before I conceived my son, and aren’t I glad about that?
I’m also a little glad that I don’t have to face endless weeks of SMEPing.
All that remains now is to see if my temperature rises and I can confirm ovulation. I am thinking that maybe I will stop temping once ovulation has been confirmed. I want to at least try and stay a little relaxed and not agonise over what the thermometer is telling me. I’d also like to try and hold out on testing. For the start I don’t want to spend stupid amounts of money on tests again when ultimately they have no effect whatsoever on the outcome.
So fingers crossed for me that there is an egg on the way out and that it gets to make a nice new friend when it does, and in 9 months we get to say our family is complete.
Cycle day 3 I think.
The ambiguity around the miscarriage has left me fairly confused. I don’t know where exactly I am in this cycle. I’m not sure when to say it began. It’s annoying, I spent an awfully long time waiting for my fertility to return, had to guess around a lot of dates, got pregnant, miscarried, and I’m still no clearer about what is going on with my body. I have to play the guessing game again. I guess I started to miscarry over a week ago when I got the blood result that showed the levels were falling, do I count that as CD1? or do I count the day that I got a negative test?
I did ask the doctor about trying to conceive again but he went with the party line of wait one cycle. I didn’t expect him to say anything else so I wasn’t going to press too hard for answers.
So whether it’s entirely logical or not I’m going to go with the day that I got the negative test as CD1. Of course I don’t know if I’m going to have a normal cycle, I’m still breastfeeding so it could be weeks or months before I ovulate again. I really wish I was friends with a gynaecologist or that the internet was more like the computers on Star Trek and you could ask a direct question and get a reliable, evidence based answer, but alas it’s not so I just have to muddle on.
So what’s the plan for this cycle? Well I’m staying away from the soy isoflavones. I don’t think they contributed at all to the miscarriage but I don’t think I need to be messing with my hormones right now either. I’m also staying away from the agnus castus/vitex. That’s partly from a not wanting to muck about with my hormones perspective, but more so because I’ve run out and don’t really have the time/money or go get more. I am starting on the evening primrose oil again, continuing with the folic acid and the vitamins B6 & 12. I’m chugging down a daily glass of pink grapefruit juice again. I’ve ordered a bunch of OPKs from eBay and I have my Clear Blue Fertility Monitor prepped and ready to go, though I haven’t decided whether or not I’m going to use it yet (it is not friends with irregular cycles and mucho ambiguity).
I am SO unimpressed with being back here and staring down the barrel of a loooooong cycle. I do not enjoy checking all the fertility signs and generally all the effort that’s involved in TTC, but I guess if I want a baby this is what I gotta do.
Just wish I had a better idea of where I am.