Today I took delivery of 30 OPKs, so I get the “fun” of POAS every day. POAS has really lost it’s charm for me. I don’t find it fun or exciting any more. I think I used up my quota of POAS enthusiasm over the last couple of years, but at least with using the OPKs I feel like I’m doing something and it takes a smidgen of the guess work out of this. I decided not to use the Fertility Monitor this month either since I’m not at all sure about my dates or what CD I am, but I have decided to go with SMEP. We tried SMEP when we conceived our daughter so I’m fairly confident about how well it works.
For the uninitiated SMEP is the Sperm Meets Egg Plan. The idea is to cover all your basis. Basically from about day seven you get jiggy with it every other day up until you get a positive OPK, then you do it three days in a row, rest for a day, do it again the next day and then collapse exhausted and thank your lucky stars you didn’t even have to think about sex again for at least a few weeks. I have no idea who came up with this but I’m sure a bit of googling could probably provide the answers. It’s really for hardcore TTC-ers or the overly randy. I fall into the first category. I have 3 children and I never have enough sleep. I have vague memories of what a sex drive is, I believe I had one back around the same time I had a social life, and alcohol figured a lot in both. It’s probably a testament to how tired I am that one of my biggest objections to having to start over is all the effort involved. In the evening all I want to do is having a cup of tea and a biscuit, then pass out by 10 o’clock while watching dvds of 30 Rock. Occasionally I’ll make an exception and stay awake till 11, like tonight for example when Fringe is on at 10. Yes I am VERY rock n roll.
But needs must and all that so SMEPing it is.
I could do with a nap.
Cycle day 3 I think.
The ambiguity around the miscarriage has left me fairly confused. I don’t know where exactly I am in this cycle. I’m not sure when to say it began. It’s annoying, I spent an awfully long time waiting for my fertility to return, had to guess around a lot of dates, got pregnant, miscarried, and I’m still no clearer about what is going on with my body. I have to play the guessing game again. I guess I started to miscarry over a week ago when I got the blood result that showed the levels were falling, do I count that as CD1? or do I count the day that I got a negative test?
I did ask the doctor about trying to conceive again but he went with the party line of wait one cycle. I didn’t expect him to say anything else so I wasn’t going to press too hard for answers.
So whether it’s entirely logical or not I’m going to go with the day that I got the negative test as CD1. Of course I don’t know if I’m going to have a normal cycle, I’m still breastfeeding so it could be weeks or months before I ovulate again. I really wish I was friends with a gynaecologist or that the internet was more like the computers on Star Trek and you could ask a direct question and get a reliable, evidence based answer, but alas it’s not so I just have to muddle on.
So what’s the plan for this cycle? Well I’m staying away from the soy isoflavones. I don’t think they contributed at all to the miscarriage but I don’t think I need to be messing with my hormones right now either. I’m also staying away from the agnus castus/vitex. That’s partly from a not wanting to muck about with my hormones perspective, but more so because I’ve run out and don’t really have the time/money or go get more. I am starting on the evening primrose oil again, continuing with the folic acid and the vitamins B6 & 12. I’m chugging down a daily glass of pink grapefruit juice again. I’ve ordered a bunch of OPKs from eBay and I have my Clear Blue Fertility Monitor prepped and ready to go, though I haven’t decided whether or not I’m going to use it yet (it is not friends with irregular cycles and mucho ambiguity).
I am SO unimpressed with being back here and staring down the barrel of a loooooong cycle. I do not enjoy checking all the fertility signs and generally all the effort that’s involved in TTC, but I guess if I want a baby this is what I gotta do.
Just wish I had a better idea of where I am.