Tag Archives: home birth

All Booked In

I had my booking appointment this morning. It was all the usual stuff – medical history, height, weight (their scales weighed me 4lbs later than my scales at home, yay! I like their scales), blood pressure, urine test (trace of ketones, boo) and blood tests. I had a very nice student midwife who is weeks away from qualifying. She told me she’s the oldest child of 9 and loves it when mums come in who have large families like mine. It is really lovely to see the progress being made in maternity care, for one thing they immediately gave me the number for contacting the Supervisor of Midwives should I have any problems. I remember in a previous pregnancy having to argue to get the number (though it was completely my right to have it and speak to her). They’ve provisionally booked me for a home delivery so let’s hope that baby plays ball this time and we have no issues with him staying breech. I also hope that Group B Strep doesn’t rear it’s ugly head again. They said they will do a vaginal swab at 36 weeks to check for it. I’m going to spend the next 26 weeks fervently crossing my fingers for the all clear. I would dearly love to finish my pregnancy journey at home as the boy and the Squishy one’s births were such lovely positive experiences. All that remains now is to await my appointment in the post for my official dating scan.

I took a big step today and asked about Down Syndrome screening. As it stands in Northern Ireland you are only offered the screening tests if you are above 35. In other parts of the UK, woman are routinely offered the triple blood test and a nuchal translucency scan at 13 weeks. At 32 (almost 33) I suppose I am probably still fairly low risk but a friend of mine (who is the same age as me) living in England recently had the NT scan and triple test and came back as high risk. She’s since gone on to privately have a Nifty test (it’s a blood test that tests circulating fetal DNA in the maternal bloodstream) and is waiting for her results. I suppose it is all playing on my mind now, especially as I have such a large family already and I find handling the eldest’s additional needs with her diabetes to be quite straining at times. I’ve been told I can ask at the dating scan about the triple test, but I don’t know if they will consent to that or perform a NT scan and my understanding is that the two are best looked at together. Our other option is to go privately for it at a cost of around £200. All of this could potentially open another can of worms as it seems like the available of Harmony or Nifty tests are very limited in Ireland (and cost around £600) so the only other option is amniocentesis or CVS, both of which carry a high miscarriage risk. There is every possibility that you could get a high risk result on an NT scan/triple test and everything could be fine. It’s hard weighing up what is the best thing to do, and it’s a very uncomfortable conversation to have probably because it’s still such an alien concept to screen for it in this neck of the woods. I have a little time yet to make the decision though.

One thing I need to start doing now is taking bump pictures, though I’m starting out about 15lbs heavier than I was in my last pregnancy and my stomach/bump is waaay bigger. I’ve been forced into some maternity clothes too which definitely accentuates things. Finally, I am pleased to report that the cyclizine is definitely helping. I feel horribly nauseous for about an hour in between doses but generally it’s taking the edge off and helping me to feel much more human. I’ll start experimenting soon with seeing if I can live without it as hopefully things will calm down as I head into the second trimester.

Hi ho hi ho it’s off to the consultant I go…..

33 weeks and today I get the pleasure of heading to the antenatal clinic and saying please Doctor may I have a home birth?

These appointments make me very nervous. The thing is, chances are the doctor will say “well you’re low risk so of course you can”, but there’s always that very small chance that they might turn around and for some reason say “no.” I’d have to argue with them then and I hate confrontation, so I get myself all worked up in the meantime preparing for a debate that’s probably not even going to happen.

So how have things been going generally?

Well I’m anaemic. I’m not exactly sure how anaemic, I keep forgetting to call the doctor and find out precisely what the measurement was, but it was apparently anaemic enough to warrant giving me a prescription for iron tablets. I can’t take the iron tablets. I mean I tried but they made me violently sick, so sick in fact that the husband had to take a day off work to look after the kids because I couldn’t lift my head from the toilet bowl for the best part of three hours. I’ve now started taking Spatone instead, it’s liquid iron that you mix with orange juice. It tastes like blood. I don’t know if it’s just that metallic edge to it or what, but I can keep it down so that has to be a plus.

I think baby has finally turned head down too. I was getting a huge amount of kicks in my cervix, it seemed like all movement was below my bikini line and I got absolutely nothing above my belly button, then last Friday and Saturday night my bump became really sore and the baby started to turn. I’m now getting those huge full belly movements for the first time this pregnancy and experiencing the joy of having a foot wedged in my ribs while the baby now punches me in the cervix instead.

Heartburn and indigestion continues. I’m now on 2 daily doses of ranitidine and about a 1lt of vile gaviscon a day in between. I do wonder if the hairy baby thing is true. The only other pregnancy I suffered with heartburn was my eldest and she had a full head of dark hair. The boy had a tiny amount of hair when he was born but it was so blonde and so fine we didn’t even think he had eyebrows until we saw him in sunlight the next morning, the squishy one had only the mildest smattering of hair too (which promptly fell out and has now re-grown in the style of Gene Wilder in Young Frankenstein, while the boy has a head of magnificent ringlets).

SPD/PGP is rearing it’s head again. I’ve spent the last month or so dealing with hip pain but it’s making it’s way around now to the front of my pelvis.

I can’t believe I have seven weeks to go. I feel done. I feel enormous. I struggle to get out of chairs. I can get down on the floor to clean pretty easily but it’s extremely difficult to get back up again.

I still have a lot of things to organise too. We picked up an Ikea Gulliver cot that we plan to side-car to the bed, but I haven’t organised a mattress for it yet or the logistics of attaching it to the bed and making sure everything is nice and level with no gaps. I haven’t ordered the things I need for my birthing pool. I haven’t picked up any nursing bras.

Well at least after today I will know whether it’s worth ordering those home birth supplies.

What do you need for a home birth?

I’m writing a lot of lists at the moment, lists of what I need for the baby and for the birth. I like writing lists. I get a bit anal about them. Every week before I go grocery shopping I write out my list, price it online and then I put it in the order that I’ll come across it in the store. It’s not enough to put it under sections like vegetables, it literally has to be written in the order these things are on the shelves.

I’m taking a similar approach to baby organising. I have the things I need written out in order of priority, some things we will need immediately, like a cot mattress, some things can wait a while, like a buggy board. Then there are all the things I need for the birth itself.

One question I frequently see asked on the Home Birthing board that I co-admin, is “What do I need for my home birth?”

Planning a home birth does involve a certain amount of shopping, but a hospital birth involves that too, there are just a few things you need to take into consideration when at home.

Where are you going to give birth? 

One of the beauties of birthing at home is that you can go with the flow. I have spoken with women who have given birth in their bedrooms, their bathrooms, in their hallways, their living rooms, even one who gave birth on the stairs, but it’s helpful beforehand to have an idea of which room you think you’ll want to give birth in.

For me it has always been the living room. It’s the biggest room in the house, has the most floor space, is easily accessible by the front or back door, and I never had to worry about the floor supporting the weight of a filled birthing pool. The idea of giving birth in my bedroom (which suggests bed and lying down) never appealed to me. I wanted to be able to retreat to my bed afterwards. I didn’t want to have to change gunk covered sheets first.

Whichever room you decide you want to give birth in, you’ll need something to protect the floor or any other surfaces that you think you might give birth on i.e. bed, sofa etc. A sheet of tarpaulin is good or several cheap shower curtains. In addition to that it’s helpful to have some of those big absorbent pads. You can use these to sit on, to cover a pillow that you are leaning on or to sit on your birthing ball. Your midwife (in the UK anyway) will probably have several of these in her kit, but I’ve always bought some of the Pampers care mats in advance of the birth and put them onto my bed on the off chance that my waters should break in the night (MUCH cheaper than buying a new mattress).

Ah it should be noted that there is a reasonable chance you will throw up while in labour. It’s a good idea to have something to catch it. A basin will do.

It also helps to have some (possibly old, possibly just cheap) sheets or bath towels. Primark and Matalan are excellent for these. You can bin them afterwards if you don’t feel like washing them, but should you (well not you, your partner or other willing person) stick them in the washing machine soon after the birth with a bit of soda crystals they will wash up very well.

Oh and don’t forget your camera. More importantly don’t forget to have someone well drilled in how to work the camera and WHEN they should use it. I have a real lack of photos from my home births which is a constant source of disappointment to me.

Are You Planning to Birth In Water? 

If you are planning a water birth, well obviously this may have a big effect on which room you decide to birth in, mostly because it’s best to be somewhere that isn’t too far from the taps. You also need to think about whether you plan to rent a birthing pool, or to buy one.

I bought a birthing pool. This was largely because it was vastly cheaper than renting one, and as I wasn’t sure if I was going to get the use the pool or not I didn’t want to spend several hundred pounds on it. Buying a pool has a few advantages, for one thing you can quite often re-sell it on ebay, or after a judicious cleaning with some milton you have either a fantastic paddling pool or ball pool for your little ones to play with. You can also re-use the pool should you have another birth. The La Bassine (which I have) is guaranteed for 10 births. Go forth and multiply indeed.

But there are several advantages to renting a pool too. A rented pool is likely to have sturdy sides (most bought pools are inflatable) and to have an internal heater/thermostat that will keep it at the right temperature. With an inflatable pool you will have to rely on a bath thermometer and buckets of hot water to keep it right.

But whatever pool you go for, you are likely to need most of the following:

  • Pool
  • Pump to inflate the pool
  • Submersible pump to empty the pool. Okay this is definitely optional but it is much less work than carrying buckets.
  • A debris net to remove any… floaters. A sieve bought from your local pound shop will do the job.
  • Bath thermometer to help you keep the pool at body temperature.
  • Pool liner
  • Heat retaining cover. This is another optional item, but can be especially handy with an inflatable pool, should you need/want to get out for any length of time.
  • A Mirror – you may want this so you can see the baby crowning, or for the midwife to examine you without having to get out of the water or be hands on.

 

What are Your Thoughts on Pain Relief? 

If you are home-birthing in the UK, you will have access to two and only two pharmaceutical modes of pain relief. These are entonox (gas and air) and pethidine. Personally I LOVE gas and air. Really I think it’s so unfair that we only get access to it when we can’t fully enjoy it. Some people absolutely hate it, and it makes some people feel very sick. My poor best friend with whom I share too much is in that category, she vomited quite spectacularly on a midwife’s head during her labour, thanks to gas and air. But I’ll be honest, gas and air does not take the pain away, not at all. It helps you relax a little, it gives you something to focus on (I think half of it’s success is having the mouth-piece to bite on) and it helps to regulate your breathing.

Now I’m in the camp of people who thinks that pethidine is the devil (The Best Friend with Whom I Share too Much on the other hand LOVED pethidine). I had it when I had my eldest child and I would never take it again. It made me drowsy and insensible and made my daughter very hard to feed after she was born, but for some people it works brilliantly. Again it doesn’t take the pain away, it takes the edge off it, which for some people is just enough space to make the experience much more bearable. Though if you do have pethidine, you won’t be able to get into a birthing pool.

Your decisions about how you hope to manage your pain will inform your shopping list. So you might want to try the following –

  • A TENS machine. Early on in labour these are fantastic and I have always used them to good effect. You can buy one or you can hire them for not too much money. It’s important to get one that is designed for labour though, and has a boost function on it. It’s worth asking about if you can borrow one. In my first home birth I was able to borrow one from the Parent Craft midwives at my local hospital, for my second home birth I borrowed one from the midwife attached to my local Surestart.
  • Hot water bottle – for hot compresses, alternatively you can put ice in a polythene bag and wrap it in a tea towel (or use the old bag of frozen peas wrapped in a tea towel) for a cold compress.
  • Massage oils – friction is never good, especially in labour. http://www.birthease.co.uk sell a nice range of reasonably priced birth massage oils. I like the smell of them, they have lavender, jasmine and clary sage oil. Lovely.
  • Birthing ball – these are fab to have WELL before D-Day. They are excellent for all sorts of things, helping the baby to get into position, improving your posture, relieving strain on your back, your hips etc. Move about on the birth ball in labour help the baby to descend and rotate and helps you to feel on top of the pain. I delivered my last two babies leaning over a birthing ball.

Nice To Have

These are the things that aren’t really essential, but are nice to have.

  • Bendy straws or ice chips. I always got very thirsty in labour but trying to drink straight from a glass made me feel quite sick. Straws are a good way to sip and keep your fluids up.
  • Essential oils and candles. Again I’d recommend lavender, jasmine, rose or clary sage (for the record my husband HATES the smell of clary sage). Just like with a romantic night in or a hot date, it helps to set the atmosphere. Your labour is reliant in so many ways on the hormone Oxytocin. Oxytocin is the exact same hormone that you release when you are in love or when you orgasm. Oxytocin isn’t a big fan of loud noises and bright lights (unless maybe you’re an exhibitionist).
  • Music – again it’s about setting mood. It doesn’t have to be plinky plonky chill out stuff. I had my iPod on shuffle when labouring with the boy. It had a mixture of chilled out acoustic tracks and some high energy stuff. As it happened, he was born to Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger by Daft Punk.
  • Glucose tablets/honey/flapjacks etc. It’s a good idea to eat when in labour, especially if labour is long. I wouldn’t recommend sitting down to a 3 course meal, but something that is high in energy (not high in fat necessarily, so maybe lay off the dairy), and energy dense, is a good idea for when you need a pick me up.
  • I guess this is essential – some nice snacks for your midwives. They deserve a cup of tea and a biscuit.

The Dull Practicalities.

Finally there are a couple of things that you need to consider.

  • What are you going to wear? I find the £50 Bamboo Birthing Shirts sold by the NCT a bit ridiculous, BUT remember that the first pics of you and your baby will include your labour sartorial choices. Layers is good, at times you will be roasting hot, at times you will be freezing cold. You want something that can easily accommodate access to your business end and to the boobage for those first precious moments of skin to skin/first breastfeeding. It’s helpful to double up on these choices too, because your waters or vomiting or any other myriad of effluvia may conspire to cause a costume change.
  • If you plan to birth in water, a tankini top if always good. You don’t have to have acres of flesh on show.
  • What do you plan to wear after the birth? You need a change of clothes, socks, enormous belly-warming knickers, nursing bras, nursing pads and maternity pads. May I also HIGHLY recommend getting a bottle of witch hazel. Pour some over maternity pads before putting them on. They are amazingly soothing, and mildly antiseptic too.
  • A receiving blanket for baby. Okay let me just amend that to a receiving towel. One of the snuggle robe type ones with the little hood is good.
  • What will baby wear? – I have a few recommendations on these front as well. Little baby body suit type vests with the pop fasteners at the bottom are great, but NOT for a newborn. I prefer a waist length, side fastening vest. The reason being? It won’t press against their umbilicus. Once that falls off standard vests are great. Baby will also need socks (good idea to put several pairs of these on an hour or two before they do they heel prick), a baby-gro/sleep suit, scratch mitts and a hat. Especially a hat. They aren’t great at regulating their temperature early on, though a bit of skin-to-skin kangeroo care does wonders for that.
  • For when the sh*t hits the fan – you need nappies, nappy sacks and cotton wool. Pure water is more than ample at cleaning a baby’s bottom (stay away from the wipes for a while), but it will take a small mountain of cotton wool to get that sticky poop off.

It’s a good idea to have this stuff packed up like a regular hospital bag. It means that it’s all in one place, and should you need to transfer for any reason, it’s easy to grab and take with you.

So there’s my guide to home birthing essentials. Happy shopping.

And we’re back!

Baby is breech again.

Okay I know it’s not a big deal, there’s still a lot of room in there and there’s still plenty of time for many many turnings. I just felt a bit smug when it was head down a few weeks ago, like my clever baby is getting ahead of the curve.

So how do I know baby is head up again?

Well I had a 4D scan on Saturday.

So now I know that baby is head up and that it weighs an estimated 2lbs 11oz which is exactly average for this gestation.

I had a 4D scan when I was pregnant with the boy, but much earlier, at 21 weeks. It was great but he looked pretty skeletal. A 28 week scan was much better for the baby to look like an actual baby. I have to say, I think the baby looks like the boy, most people who have seen the scan pictures agree with me. They both have the same mouth (their daddy’s), they both have chubby cheeks (also like their daddy when he was a baby), the only real difference is the nose. So far the kids have all tended to have a nose similar to mine (I have a fairly small nose), this baby appears to maybe take after the husband’s side of the family.

I finally saw my midwife again. I had a 28 week appointment with her yesterday. It was pretty standard, she took some blood samples to check my iron levels and double check my anti-d status (I don’t get that one, I’ve been A+ all my life, is it suddenly going to change mid-pregnancy???), she measured my fundal height (29 weeks) and BP, and had a listen to the baby’s heartbeat. Thank Buddha she didn’t weigh me. I weighed myself on Sunday and was not happy with the result. I have gained 37lbs. I have a whole trimester to go and I have gained 2lbs more than the absolute upper limit of what I’m supposed to for the whole pregnancy. I have signed up for  myfitnesspal.com now and have started calorie counting. Following Weight Watchers clearly is not working for me (or should I say, NOT following Weight Watchers), it’s just I feel like I’ll scream if I have to look at a points calculator again for a while. My fitness pal has an app so at least I can easily track on the go, plus it’s free so that’s always a bonus. Anyhew here’s a picture of the 28 week bump (don’t mind the fat arms, gah!)

I guess lastly the only thing I have to report is the progress on the home birth front. I was told yesterday I need to go see the consultant at the hospital at 34 weeks so they can rubber stamp me. Sighsville. I’ve been to these appointments before, they literally just look through your notes and say “fine.” I guess I just couldn’t be bothered with the hassle of organising a babysitter (very hard to do when everyone around you works full-time) and getting myself to the hospital and sitting around in a waiting room for something that could be achieved over the phone. Unless of course they recommend against it for some reason…. but hopefully that won’t happen.

I also asked what the situation was re home water births and it appears that 4 years on, the Western Health and Social Services Trust STILL hasn’t managed to train any/many community midwives in it. I was assured when having the boy that they were all being trained, in fact passing them as competent was really just a rubber stamping exercising…. though I’ve got to fair to the midwife I spoke to yesterday, she had a very good attitude and suggested that on the day it was possible that one of my community midwives could swap with one of the midwives from the MLU at the hospital who are well versed in water birth. I won’t hold my breath for that to happen but it was nice to think it’s a possibility.

So that’s all for 28 weeks, but before I go…. here’s a 4D sneak peak of the Poppler.

T2 – T3 (not talking about Terminator movies here)

I have one of those countdown tickers on the forum where I most frequently post. It gives me a nice running update of how far along I am, how the baby is developing and how long I have left to go. It tells me how far I am in weeks and how long is left is days. The bizarre thing is the weeks seem to be making much more progress than the days.

So today I am 27 weeks and 6 days, with 86 days left to go, which sounds like way more than 12 weeks.

I can’t decide if I’m in the 3rd trimester yet either. Some sites seem to think it starts at 27 weeks, other’s 28. I’m going to go with 28 and say that today is the last day of trimester two.

So how are things standing at the end of trimester two?

I’m getting really slack with taking bump pictures lately, I seem to be missing every other week because I keep forgetting to take a snap or the battery on my phone is too low for the camera to work.

I am still suffering with god awful indigestion.

I’m starting to experience a bit of pelvic girdle pain. It’s different to last time though when all the pain was focused at the front of my pelvis, this time it’s focused in my left butt cheek, radiating down my leg at times with a touch of sciatica.

I am a giant fatty fat fat fat fat. I am actually hiding from the scales right now. I know it’s not baby weight, it’s “I’ve been eating crap” weight. I’m really struggling to get in control of my eating habits again. I’m spending far too much time now feeling bloated and overly full. Easter and the plethora of chocolate that has invaded my house has not helped.

I’m starting to experience a bit of swelling. I have sausage fingers and cankles and a bit of a moon face from time to time. I’ve been keeping an eye on my blood pressure and luckily it seems to be normal.

I have made my decision that I intend to birth at home again. It took watching several of the videos on mybirth.tv  for me to make up my mind. I’m supposed to see my midwife sometime this week or next and I am going to ask her about the availability of water birth in the community, but ultimately my plan is to use the pool for pain relief and if I don’t want to get out…. well I won’t be getting out.

I’m redecorating my living room! It’s great to indulge just a little bit of my nesting instinct. I need to tackle our hall way next as it’s currently been graffiti’ed to within an inch of its life by Squishy. I am channelling my mother with this one. I’m too embarrassed to have health care professionals in the house while it looks like this, because they will judge me. It follow the same logic as wearing clean underwear everyday in case you are hit by a bus.

I have started to get mildly organised on the baby front. I bought some socks, vests, babygros and hats. Then I took a haul of baby clothes and blankets from the attic and washed them. The baby has now taken over two drawers in my chest, forcing me to shove all my clothes into a mere 1 drawer but since I only have about six things that fit me at the moment it’s not the issue you’d think it would be. I’ve also started stock-piling nappies, cotton wool, teeny baby nail scissors and soft brushes. This month I need to get organised on the bigger purchases such as the replacements bits and pieces I need for my birthing pool, a new birthing ball and somewhere for the baby to sleep (though I know it will end up sleeping in with us).

So that’s how things stand. I suppose I should scamper off and take a bump picture.

Halfway there

I laugh when I look back on the optimism I had when I started ttc. I was going to cherish every moment of this pregnancy, I was going to be an earth mother, I was going to dress well, I was going to GLOW.

Ha.

Half way there and I’ve spent most of this pregnancy demented, audibly flatulent (I am an expert at “crop dusting” now, essential in public places), plagued with horrible dry skin/spot outbreaks, panicking about weight gain, living on ranitidine, trying to make my existing clothes work and freaking out at the prospect of having to give birth again. I’m starting to question whether or not I want to home birth this time, all because I made the mistake of reading some of that evil harridan Dr Amy’s blog where she states all babies born at home burst into flames immediately upon delivery or something. I KNOW it’s not true, I KNOW I’m not facing the same issues as American women with regards to my midwife’s qualification, experience and fitness to practise, I’ve done it safely twice before, but all it takes is catching that one episode of One Born Every Minute where the baby had shoulder dystocia and I go into a mental, hormonal flap.

I had a horrible experience giving birth to my eldest in hospital, and two amazing experiences at home, so why am I even contemplating it????

I suppose part of it comes down to this. When I found out I was pregnant with my eldest I went out and bought a couple of pregnancy magazines. We’re going back ten years here so bear with me. The very first one I picked up had an article about water births. I’ve never heard of such a thing, I thought “how amazing! I’d love to do that!” It made sense to me. Fast forward to my booking appointment and I discovered the only way to have a waterbirth would be if the city sank halfway through your labour.

By the time I was pregnant with the boy I bought my own birth pool and was very optimistic it would happen. It seemed like every other women in the UK could have a home waterbirth no problem. I was naive, I thought I would too, but I was told that only one community midwife in the whole the city was trained in waterbirth so I could labour in the pool but I had to get out to push. When he was actually born that was just what happened, the midwives told me they were trained in waterbirth but weren’t signed off on it yet.

In between the boy’s birth and the squishy one coming along, the local hospital opened up there very own fancy dan midwifery unit complete with TWO birthing pools (though only one of them was unusable because whoever designed the place didn’t make the door on one of them wide enough to admit a gurney). Hopefully by now the situation would have changed, right? Well if it hadn’t I intended to sit in the pool no matter what. As it happened, the pool was less than half full when Squishy came shooting out like a human cannonball, so I never found out.

So what do I do this time? Do I risk going to the hospital where they can fill a pool quickly and the staff have all been rubber stamped? Or do I stay at home where I may not get it filled in time or have to argue to stay in it? of course with the hospital there is always the risk that the pools will be occupied or out of order or they’ll decide I’m not a suitable candidate, and there’s the loss of autonomy and the risk of interventions (but I’ll be honest, the loss of autonomy scares me more). I just can’t make up my mind. Luckily I have twenty more weeks to do so.

And twenty more weeks to get a decent wardrobe together, organise a hair cut (see picture below), find a good moisturiser/cleanser and work on not eating everything I can lay my hands on.

I’m sure it’ll fly.

 

 

Happy Birthday to my Baby Girl

This time two years ago (at 10 to 10) my youngest daughter, Squishy (just to clarify it’s not her real name) made her way into the world on my living room floor to the strains of the Mickey Mouse Club House theme tune. You see not half an hour before my then 14 month old son had been sitting on the sofa, eating his breakfast and being distracted by a bit of early morning tv as midwives arrived and my husband and mother tried to fill my birthing pool. Things moved so quickly that the pool got less than half way full and no one thought to turn off the tv. I was rather too distracted to ask anyone to do it either.

Things happened so quickly that my sister very nearly walked in on the middle of it all. She decided to swing by and see how the labour was going, she opened the front door, heard the midwife say “one more push and baby will be here!” My sister had only received the call to say that I was in labour half an hour before.

My active labour was recorded as 45 minutes. I went from 2 cms to fully dilated and baby delivered with 2 pushes in that time. I don’t think I so much gave birth as she launched herself out like a human cannonball. Squishy got her name because when she was born she was so chubby and almost perfectly round (she kind of looked like Baby Poof from the Fairly Odd Parents). She had massive chubby thighs and the midwives and my GP all commented on how usually good the muscle tone in her legs were. It had never occurred to me before she was born just how much of a part the baby plays in the birthing process. I had tended to think of them as a sort of inert passenger but Squishy’s birth made me realise she while she maybe didn’t do quite as much work as me she did a fair portion of it.

I guess it makes sense when you think about it. One of the reflexes they test in babies after their birth is their stepping reflex. If you put their foot against a hard surface they will push away from it. During labour, the uterus contracts around the baby, pressing down against their feet and in return they push against it, helping to move themselves down, firstly with their head applying pressure to the cervix and stimulating the oxytocin feedback loop and secondly moving them into the birthing canal and beyond. I think Squish was coiled like an olympic diver.

Two years on and she continues to surprise and amaze me every day. She is so completely her own person, her personality is so different to her siblings. She’s funny, she’s thoughtful (she caught me crying during the miscarriage and asked me if I was okay, before throwing her arms around me, kissing my forehead and saying “shush, it’s okay mammy”), she’s ridiculous (she spent much of yesterday riding around on a rocket, wearing fairy wings and a cowboy hat), she is so uniquely her.

And I never thought I would still be breastfeeding two years later, but I have no hope of weaning anytime soon, she insisted on getting her morning boob before she would even consider opening any presents. Now she’s sitting wearing a Rapunzel dress, holding a Rapunzel doll and watching Tangled.

I am so very blessed.