Cycle day 3 I think.
The ambiguity around the miscarriage has left me fairly confused. I don’t know where exactly I am in this cycle. I’m not sure when to say it began. It’s annoying, I spent an awfully long time waiting for my fertility to return, had to guess around a lot of dates, got pregnant, miscarried, and I’m still no clearer about what is going on with my body. I have to play the guessing game again. I guess I started to miscarry over a week ago when I got the blood result that showed the levels were falling, do I count that as CD1? or do I count the day that I got a negative test?
I did ask the doctor about trying to conceive again but he went with the party line of wait one cycle. I didn’t expect him to say anything else so I wasn’t going to press too hard for answers.
So whether it’s entirely logical or not I’m going to go with the day that I got the negative test as CD1. Of course I don’t know if I’m going to have a normal cycle, I’m still breastfeeding so it could be weeks or months before I ovulate again. I really wish I was friends with a gynaecologist or that the internet was more like the computers on Star Trek and you could ask a direct question and get a reliable, evidence based answer, but alas it’s not so I just have to muddle on.
So what’s the plan for this cycle? Well I’m staying away from the soy isoflavones. I don’t think they contributed at all to the miscarriage but I don’t think I need to be messing with my hormones right now either. I’m also staying away from the agnus castus/vitex. That’s partly from a not wanting to muck about with my hormones perspective, but more so because I’ve run out and don’t really have the time/money or go get more. I am starting on the evening primrose oil again, continuing with the folic acid and the vitamins B6 & 12. I’m chugging down a daily glass of pink grapefruit juice again. I’ve ordered a bunch of OPKs from eBay and I have my Clear Blue Fertility Monitor prepped and ready to go, though I haven’t decided whether or not I’m going to use it yet (it is not friends with irregular cycles and mucho ambiguity).
I am SO unimpressed with being back here and staring down the barrel of a loooooong cycle. I do not enjoy checking all the fertility signs and generally all the effort that’s involved in TTC, but I guess if I want a baby this is what I gotta do.
Just wish I had a better idea of where I am.
There was one test left in the packet so I did it this morning, not because I think I am pregnant or anything of the like but I just wanted to see if I would get a second line again, and I did. I looked over the packaging and couldn’t find CE marks or Kite Marks so they truly are the biggest pile of rubbish.
There wasn’t even a hint of asparagus about my morning wee so I conclude it’s not that. I feel sorry for anyone who has bought these tests that doesn’t have my obsessive streak. I was sceptical from the start. I think it would have been much harder if I had taken it as a genuine BFP.
But it’s all behind me now and I’m moving onwards.
I’ve decided to give soy isoflavones a go. I picked up a pack of them yesterday. The idea if that they trick your body into thinking that your oestrogen is low and so stimulates the hormones involved in ovulation. They’ve been called “natural clomid”, and like clomid, you take them for just 5 days. You are supposed to do this at the beginning of your cycle. As I am in the interesting position of not having a cycle it’s hard for me to judge when to take them so (in true scientific fashion) I decided bugger it and took my first dose last night. Yesterday I took 80mg, today and tomorrow I will take 120mg and then 160mg on Wednesday and Thursday.
My vitamin regime is getting more complicated. Currently I’m taking
- 50mg of vitamin b6 to balance hormones and promote a proper length luteal phase
- 1000mg of evening primrose oil to promote production and increase quality of cervical mucus (Gwads I hate that term, cervical fluid is really no better. Gross).
- 400µg of Folic acid – an important DNA precursor and important for preventing neural tube defects
- 800mg of agnus castus – not pictured because I ran out.
- and the soy isoflavones regime described above
I’ve had to drop my reflexology sessions in the meantime though because my therapist friend fell and broke her wrist last weekend.
I’ll admit I am a bit dubious about using the soy isoflavones because I don’t think that I know enough about them and I have found zero information appropriate to women in my particular situation but I’m figuring that I’ll take them for these 5 days, see what happens and if nothing does I’ll wait until my period finally shows to try them again.
Can’t hurt to try, I hope.
I had my first reflexology session this morning. I’m not sure entirely what I was expecting, well I think a little part of me hoped she’d poke a toe and my ovaries would kick into action (I was going to say burst into life, but putting the words “burst” and “ovaries” together just seemed a little off). She’s asked me to come back for five more sessions, once a week, and then review things at the end of that. Right now she’s just concentrating on balancing my hormones generally and after the six weeks is up she’ll start on the fertility stuff. One thing she did say is that she reckons my thyroid levels might be a bit off. I’m not dismissing that, I do think my temperature does tend to be on the low side. I know diagnosing an underactive thyroid from a low basal body temperature alone isn’t done but it’s enough to make me wonder if I should get down to my GP and ask her to test my thyroid levels. I think extended breastfeeding and mammoth weight loss have probably done something to slow my system down, I just hope I’m not throwing an underactive thyroid into the mix.
Looking at my chart I’m still not convinced that I’ve ovulated. I also think my thermometer is on it’s last legs so I ordered a new one. On top of that I’m drastically upping my agnus castus dosage (I was taking 200mg per day, the wisdom of the internet reckons I should be on 800mg) and I’m throwing in some evening primrose oil too. I’m surprised I don’t rattle when I walk.