Tag Archives: charting

I am weak.

I failed, dear reader, I failed.

For whatever reason I picked up the thermometer again and I took my temperature this morning. It is sky high, it has shot up higher than I have ever seen it to a whopping 37.2/99.08 degrees. Now I’m wondering ooooo is this a triphasic chart?

I am DYING to POAS, though logically I know I am only 8dpo and the chance of getting anything other than a BFN is so slight as to be statistically insignificant.

The bizarre vivid dreams continue, last night it was John C. Reilly, a fine actor, but seriously, Chris Martin was running around there at some point too yet my brain plumps to hook me up with John C. Reilly? Stupid brain, stop picking people I like and respect and go for the smoking hot ones instead please.

So here’s how my chart looks now (I adjusted the temp last Saturday to make that come up as my ovulation day as I’m fairly certain that’s when it happened).

Triphasic?

Half Way There

Putting the thermometer down has been oddly liberating. I don’t think I am half as obsessive as I was last cycle. I’m not endlessly staring at my chart (what’s the point?) and while I still am lurking (and posting) a little bit on the actively trying/waiting to test boards, I’m not symptom spotting and mainly I’ve been looking for like-minded people who are waiting to test too.

My resolve is weakening a little though. It has occurred to me that I’ll be 10DPO on Tuesday and that I got a BFP with my youngest at that day. I almost ordered some pregnancy tests off eBay last night too but I stopped myself at the last minute and thought if I am going to order some tests I will order them on Wednesday at the earliest, so theoretically it’ll be Friday or Saturday before they get here. I have realised that there is no point in keeping a stash of HPTs in the house, because I will only use them.

So now onto a bit of symptom spotting…. 😉

well I have had killer sore boobs for the last week, sore to the point where taking a shower is uncomfortable. I can’t say that’s a pregnancy symptom but it is making me feel much more positive about the general stability of my hormone levels, that and (big touching of wood here) I haven’t had any spotting as yet. It feels much more like how my luteal phase was back when I had a regular cycle. I am also very tired, but I think that’s down to two nights of very broken sleep as we’ve ended up with four in the bed, and I am also unusually warm. Usually I am absolutely freezing, the husband believes I am secretly one of the lizard people because of the how cold I am in bed and the way I insist on snuggling in to him just to steal his heat. I’ve also been extremely windy (pardon me) but I think that’s because I’m back on the healthy eating regime (I thought eaters of junk food were supposed to be the flatulent ones, but no, with me on a diet of chips I’m wind free, on a diet of salads I’m making as much contribution to global warming as the average cow). Oh and I’ve had very livid dreams too, include one where I was passionately kissed by Hugh Fearnley Whittingstall. Really? come on brain! couldn’t you have summoned up a bit of James McAvoy instead????

I must be strong.

Cake and…. other things

 

I thought for a change I’d leave out the pictures of pee sticks and share instead the fabled Lego cake that I lovingly crafted for my son. I’m happy to report that the party went very well and I’m the mother of an extremely happy (and cake stuffed) child.

I wish all other things were as straight forward. I STILL don’t know what the heck is going on with my body.

Bit of warning – this is where things get a little TMI (though if you regularly read Fertility blogs/forums you should be immune to everything up to and including people posting pictures of their cervical mucus. I promise I will NEVER do that).

So I had a positive OPK on Friday and in addition to that I finally, truly saw the return of egg white cervical mucus (EWCM). I was discussing it with my heterosexual life partner (AKA my best friend with whom I share too much) and I said it’s a bit like when you’re pregnant and you think you might be having a contraction, then you have a real contraction and realise that the difference between what you thought was one and the real thing is about the same as the distance between a tickle and a punch. There have been times over the last year or so when I *thought* I had EWCM and the difference between that and the real deal just made me laugh at my optimism.

The signs were aligning, and then came the final sign – cervical position. During the fertile part of your cycle the cervix should be SHOW, that stands for Soft High Open and Wet. I think my littlest knocked my cervix a kilter on her way out. I used to be able to identify it’s position quite easily, but now when it’s high rather than being in a nice central position it appears to be sort of round a corner. Apparently childbirth can tilt your cervix, fun fact for a Sunday. my cervix was as high as it ever gets and definitely open. All was looking good.

Then I made a fatal error. I had a glass of wine on Thursday night and then I had a couple of glasses of wine on Friday night. I should have known better. Having a drink knocks my temperatures wonky, usually up by as much as a whole degree so my chart is fairly skewed because of it. In an ideal world I would have liked to have seen a temperature dip on Saturday and then a rise today.

What I saw instead was two fairly level temperatures (after a big rise on Friday morning due to the glass of wine on Thursday night).

Did I actually have a temperature dip on Saturday but it was masked because I’d had a drink the night before? I just don’t know.

As for this morning – well the toddlers decided that it would be fun to come into our bed last night so I had a lousy broken night’s sleep.

Charting BBT is reliant on a few things for accuracy, consistency being a big one. Consistency is sadly lacking in my life.

Today CM is drying up, little bit of spotting, negative OPKs, painful boobs when the litte ‘un is nursing, and cervix is back to low, firm and closed. Everything points to ovulation except for my temperature.

Before I sign off I must apologise for showing you a picture of cake and then getting into a detailed discussion about mucus.

Those two things should never meet.

Stupid Ovaries

I hate my body today. I had my stupid non-functioning ovaries. I hate that something as important to me as breastfeeding is stopping me from getting something that I dearly want.

You’ve probably guessed by now that my temperature has not done what I was so hoping it would do. It has risen, but only very slightly, and it’s still a lot lower than it was a week ago when I was wondering if that had meant I’d ovulated.

I wanted to hurl the thermometer out of the window this morning. I’ve been wanting another baby for 13 months now and damn it, it is hard. It’s hard on the heart and the brain and on the bank balance.

I’m off to try and make a Lego Pinata for my son’s birthday party on Sunday, and try not to sob all over my glue gun.

943 days since my last period…. and counting….

Dare I hope?

Every morning I log on to the Actively Trying board over at Babycentre and I’m met with a glut of “OMG BFP!!!!” posts.

It’s lovely for the ladies posting of course but it’s probably doing my sense of impatience no good at all. Truth is, when my kids go to nap, I spend a few hours trawling various forums and googling every suggestion for ways to increase fertility. I then spend far too much time going back and forth between my chart on Fertility Friend and on the Taking Charge of Your Fertility site willing those dots to suddenly make some sense.

I missed a few days of temperature taking last week while I was going through the whole pound-shop-shit-test adventure, and I could kick myself for it now because sometime during those three days my temperature started to rise.

 

Fertility Friend is being not especially helpful either.  It will go as far as to tell me I *may* have ovulated some time between CD5 and CD11. I don’t dare believe it though. I have been through this so many times before, including most recently just after I started this blog. I fully expect my temperature to take a nose dive soon and for them to take away even the suggestion that something might have happened. Still, as always, my hopes are up a little. This is a much more convincing temperature rise than I have ever seen on my chart before. I’ve started taking my temperature at night before I go to bed, not to record it because I know it’s largely meaningless, but I have noticed that it is consistently higher than it’s ever been before. My bedtime temperature is hovering around the 37°C mark, which is at least .5 of a degree higher than it’s ever been before. So now I’m obsessing about whether or not it actually means anything.

It’s amazing the things that you will notice when you’re paying attention. Every twinge takes on new significance, but it rarely means anything. I pointed out the similarity to my husband recently when we were fighting the flea battle. We both had multiple phantom flea bites, every weird tickle had us jumping and scratching and checking for fleas. 99% of the time we found absolutely nothing, but just the idea that there were fleas in the house was enough to have us thinking we were being bitten every five minutes (in truth, during the month long battle we both suffered maybe 8 flea bites each).  It’s the same with symptom spotting. I see so many ladies posting about sore boobs and headaches and sensitivity to smells and a dozen other “signs”, about 50% of those do end up being pregnant (so retrospectively they confirm yes! it’s all a pregnancy sign!) the other half end up with their period.

These temperatures might mean something, but they probably don’t.

 

 

 

Hey Jealousy

My best friend has started charting and I have to admit I’m a little jealous. I’m jealous because she has predictable cycles and her temperature patterns make sense and when she sees a temperature rise and gets her cross hairs she can be fairly certain that it is because she has ovulated. Her cross hairs are unlikely to disappear after a few days.

I’m not feeling particularly patient today. I’ve had a temperature rise over the last few days but this morning it plummeted. I woke up and took my temperature as usual but when I looked at the clock I realised it was only 4.30 am. I usually take my temperature around 6 am. I went back to sleep, but I dozed more than anything, when I finally roused myself enough to take another reading it was 7.30 am. It’s almost unheard of in this house for us to sleep past 6.30. There is quite a disparity between the two readings, the earlier one was 97.18, plunging off the bottom of my chart, the later reading was 98.04 and a nice little rise like I’d want to see. Of course I know the reading I should use is the lower one. I hate that reading. It messes up my chart entirely. I guess thems is the breaks and I know that even a pretty looking chart won’t make me have ovulated.

I HATE this waiting, I HATE the uncertainty, I HATE that every product out there from fertility monitors to software only really works for people who have a cycle in the first place. I HATE being banished to this little breastfeeding fringe group where no one has any answers and no one can offer any help other than telling me to wean.

I HATE that I’ve eaten a lot of chocolate lately and gained 8lbs in 15 weeks.

I wish I had some progress to report. I feel like I’m constantly moaning or saying oh I think something might be happening but ultimately end up being wrong.

I wish I had a chart like my friend’s.