Number 734: Work out whether or not your cat is trying to kill you
Damn you William Catner!
This is shamelessly stolen from Shinxie, a poster on babycentre.co.uk, but it made me laugh and so I had to share.
Day 1 – I have loads of patience, I’m gonna be totally cool.
Day 2 – Afraid to pee ! what if I pee out the sperm?
Day 3 – Damn im tired.. could this be a sign ?
Day 4 – Not tired today.. I KNEW IT >.< this cycle has FAILED!
Day 5 – If the elevator doesnt stop at the 10th floor it means im pregnant.
Day 6 – I want a glass of wine dammit !… but I wont…
Day 7 – IS IT TOO EARLY TO TEST?
Day 8 – One week down…I just KNOW I’m pregnant
Day 9 – Why aren’t my boobs sore?!
Day 10 – Why is everyone not caring enough for me, don’t they know I might be pregnant!?
Day 11 – POAS results – BFN
Day 12 – Angry calls to people just to rant and vent out!
Day 13 – I hate the world everyone can KISS MY BARREN ASS!
Day 14 – HPT – Oh cool BFP 😀
I failed, dear reader, I failed.
For whatever reason I picked up the thermometer again and I took my temperature this morning. It is sky high, it has shot up higher than I have ever seen it to a whopping 37.2/99.08 degrees. Now I’m wondering ooooo is this a triphasic chart?
I am DYING to POAS, though logically I know I am only 8dpo and the chance of getting anything other than a BFN is so slight as to be statistically insignificant.
The bizarre vivid dreams continue, last night it was John C. Reilly, a fine actor, but seriously, Chris Martin was running around there at some point too yet my brain plumps to hook me up with John C. Reilly? Stupid brain, stop picking people I like and respect and go for the smoking hot ones instead please.
So here’s how my chart looks now (I adjusted the temp last Saturday to make that come up as my ovulation day as I’m fairly certain that’s when it happened).
I got my cross hairs this morning, though I think their positioning is a little out. Drinking some prosecco on Friday night was probably a bad idea as I know that’s why I had such a significant temp spike on Saturday morning. Fertility Friend has put me at 3 DPO but I’m fairly certain that it was Saturday when I ovulated so I’m only 2.
Now I’m really thinking about putting the thermometer down and stepping away from all Fertility software and forums for the next fortnight. I know what I’m like, I’ll be lurking on the Actively Trying board over on Baby Centre and reading about people taking tests and their symptoms and it’ll drive me to do ridiculous things like take a pregnancy test at 3 o’clock in the afternoon with dilute urine at 6 DPO.
The miscarriage took all the fun out of squinting at pee sticks. I don’t want to go cross eyed staring at them and wondering if I see a line, I don’t want to wonder about how dark the line is. I want to kick all ambiguity to the curb. I think if I continue to temp and chart it’ll take up way too much of my emotional energy, and too much of my money on myriad pregnancy tests.
So… my plan is to wait two weeks and if my period doesn’t appear to take a HPT on the 30th. It’s probably pretty perfect timing, it’s a Sunday (when I head out shopping anyway, so I can easily slip a HPT in my trolley) and depending on the result I should know whether or not I can have some drinks on Halloween the next night.
In the meantime I’m focusing myself back on to eating right and taking a bit of gentle exercise. I’ve got a fridge and cupboard stacked full of leafy greens, wholegrains, lean meat and fruit. They will be no alcohol for the next two weeks, very little caffeine (I’m not a martyr, I can’t cut it out entirely) and lots and lots of water, instead of my usual tipple of Diet Coke/Pepsi. I stocked up on supplements yesterday too so I’m continuing with the folic acid and b vitamins but have added omega 3, vitamin C with zinc and… (this one might be a tad controversial) some aspirin. I couldn’t actually find low dose aspirin so I bought regular 300mg tablets and have cut them into quarters, it’s a touch below the recommended dose of 80mg, but I’m going with the theory can’t hurt, might help.
I really debating with myself about natural progesterone cream. From what I gathered reading online opinion on it’s efficacy is pretty mixed, the doctors I saw during the miscarriage certainly didn’t seem to rate it. I think what made the decision for me was when I read that it could prolong a non viable pregnancy. I don’t know, some people swear by it but I’m scared to muck around too much. I honestly think that by taking the soy isoflavones last month I forced my body into something it just wasn’t ready for and that’s why the pregnancy never really got off the ground. That is not based on any scientific fact by the way, just my gut feeling, which hasn’t been peer reviewed or independently verified.
It would be a lie if I said I’m going to relax. I know that I will spend the next fortnight obsessing and agonising. I’m just going to try not to, or to do it as little as possible or ask someone to sit on me and stop me from buying pregnancy tests.