Today is 13 dpo and I finally cracked and did the other First Response that has been sitting in my medicine cabinet. It was a nerve wracking experience staring at the test and waiting for the line to develop. I’ve been so paranoid that maybe Saturday’s test was just an evap and I was jumping the gun thinking it was positive, but I am happy to report that I got a very good line today and so, for now, I am definitely pregnant.
I’m still utterly terrified to get my hopes up. I’m trying to distract myself with thoughts of this weekend, where I’m feeling enormous levels of anxiety about having to get a few trains from the airport to my friend’s house. I’m a 32 year old woman ffs but the terror of accidentally getting on the wrong train is making my blood run cold. The eldest child (who considers herself a veteran of the Greater London area train system) keeps offering to go with me, you know, to hold my hand while I get about. I’m actually tempted. Pathetic I know, I want a 12 year old to babysit me. I have always been a ridiculously anxious traveler. I’m the sort that would rather turn up at the airport four hours early rather than risk being five minutes late. But I guess on the plus side at least the terror of this is stopping me from obsessing about what is going on in my uterus (fingers crossed it is in my uterus).