I’m mere days away from testing time. I think I was around 8 dpo when I got a positive last cycle, in the past I have gotten BFPs at 9dpo. This morning I ordered a few packs of First Response from Amazon and I know what I’m like, I will probably take the first test on Friday or Saturday.
Actually Friday is a bit of a conundrum. The best friend (with whom I share too much) is pregnant, she is due around the same time I would have been. She has her first scan on Friday morning, and as her partner can’t get to it, I volunteered to go with her to keep her company. There are probably some people who would find that upsetting or couldn’t handle it, but I think I’ll be okay with it. I mean I am absolutely fine with her being pregnant and me not, her journey has nothing to do with mine. Actually it’s a bit of a relief for me that I am fine with it because when the ectopic was diagnosed I did worry that her on-going pregnancy might be upsetting for me and how hard would it be to cope with those feelings when she is the closest person in the world to me?
But I suspect I could be setting myself up for a fall to test and get a BFN before heading off to her scan with her, so Saturday is probably the better option. Then sometimes I think I’d probably just be better to hold out until Monday when my AF is due and potentially save myself the expense of testing altogether.
With the random pains on both sides continuing I couldn’t reliably say which side I ovulated from, so I really don’t know what our chances are of actually getting a BFP this month. I keep telling myself that it probably isn’t high and not to get my hopes up. I really am nervous about what my emotional reaction will be either way. I’ve tended towards a short luteal phase since my cycle returned, averaging around ten days, so at least I don’t have long to wait to know, and if this cycle is a BFN at least I can enjoy a few glasses of wine when the husband and I go away for Valentine’s Day. We haven’t done anything for Valentine’s Day in about six years, and I was pregnant with the boy then so it was sober and indigestion ridden.
Always a silver lining.