Cycle Day 23 – 4dpo

So I did ovulate last week, a temperature rise confirmed it, or a sustained thermal shift as it’s called in the business. I don’t know if it’s an early dose of PMS or what but I woke up on Saturday morning in an atrocious mood and it’s stuck about ever since. I feel deflated and depressed and dissatisfied with my life. I’ve had a skin break out of epic proportions, can’t seem to stick to my diet for love nor money, I’m bored and in desperate need of both an eyebrow threading and a haircut. I fear I look like something of a demented hedge witch. I keep thinking if I can just sort out how I look, and get around to all those DIY jobs at home then calm will be restored and I will feel good again.

Maybe it says something about our consumerist culture, but every time I feel like my emotions are a bit chaotic and out of control I get an overwhelming urge to go to Ikea and buy storage solutions.

All of this was not helped today by the Squishy one throwing a tantrum of epic proportions when she was forced to sit on my knee on the bus as there were no spare seats near by. She screamed, kicked, hit and bit me (!!!!) for 15 solid minutes. Absolutely mortifying.

Crazy hedge witch with her screaming child on a bus. Yup, she’s really got it together. It’s almost time to eat now and I haven’t got the energy to cook so it’s likely dinner will be toast based before I do his homework with the boy and then breathe a sigh of relief when I hoof the lot of them to bed.

I’m also continuing to get some pain around the region of my ovaries. That, I guess relatively, mild burning pain is persisting, along with the odd throb. I know it is far too early to be implantation or anything of that sort, but it’s so similar to the pains that I felt last cycle that I can’t help but feel a bit nervous about it. It is all weighing on my mind, especially we weren’t exactly (or at all) careful about avoiding ttc this month. I have very muddled feelings about the whole thing. Some days I think I absolutely must have another baby, other days I think no I’m definitely done. I think I’m really, really scared of another ectopic.

But I just got an apology from the Squishy one about her outburst, I just spent the last twenty minutes playing with a laughing and very happy Little A, and if all else fails there are always things like this on the internet

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