38+2 today and I am just at the beginning of the other two (okay potentially four or more) week wait. This is the countdown to the end, 12 days till my due date. I actually think this is worse than the first two week wait, at least in the first two week wait you can potentially distract yourself by spending a small fortune on pregnancy tests and squinting yourself silly. There is no (easy) self test you can administer for dilation, and it takes a certain amount of determination if not sheer unadulterated talent to manage squinting at your own cervix. In the traditional two week wait you can count down the days until it’s more of less certain you will get a reliable result, in the latter 2ww every single day is fraught with “will today be the day?” From morning to noon to night.
The fact is I’m fed up of sitting of my birthing ball. I’m fed up of the smell of clary sage. I’m fed up of taking evening primrose oil (both orally and as a pessary). I’m fed up of eating curry. I am fed up of obsessing over what my foof may or may not be doing. My patience is gone, my temper is frayed and someone appears to have kidnapped the Squishy one and replaced her with Satan (good timing on the terrible twos there…..). I don’t want to try and eat 19 pomegranites or 47 pineapples in one sitting. I’m too huge and sore and unwieldy to even contemplate certain other methods of encouraging baby out of there.
I’m just so damn bored of sitting here wondering if that twinge I feel is going to turn into something. I wish the midwife would just do a damn sweep but I’m not even due to see anyone again for another week so I’m very much left to my own devices, pickling myself in a clary sage laced bath.