Having a wobble

I have my fetal anomaly scan in just under two hours. I vowed at the beginning of this that I wasn’t going to ask the sex of the baby, but now I’m not so sure.

I keep dreaming that it’s a little girl (possibly because I am just SO in love with the girl’s name we have chosen). It’s crazy but I feel like I’ve bonded with this little dream baby. I worry that come the day if the baby pops out and it’s a boy I might feel a certain sense of disappointment…. that probably sounds like an awful thing to say. I mean deep down I really don’t care if it’s a boy or a girl so long as it is healthy. I wouldn’t be devastated by having a boy at all, boys rock, my son is so amazing, he’s my sun and stars, but I don’t want that sort of… “oh” feeling if they said “it’s a boy!”

So I’m debating just asking today if they can see the pertinent parts.

Of course I could get up there and the baby could be lying in a strange position (they practically had to stand me on my head to do the anomaly scan with Squish and they still couldn’t get a clear picture), or I might have a sonographer who isn’t keen on telling me the sex. In fact I don’t think any of them are too keen on discussing the sex. I found out with my eldest from a doctor at a much later scan, with the boy we paid for a private 4D scan and with Squish she flashed her bits on screen at a later scan so I didn’t need anyone to tell me.

Ah I don’t know what to do.

I’m too damn nosey.

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