The Saga of BIL continues….


I wish I wasn’t posting about this. I wish I was instead going into an extended rant about the teenage skin outbreaks I’m experiencing (my god they suck!) but I have bitched about the BIL before I feel the need to conclude the tale.

The husband had a bit of an argument with his sister at the weekend. She rounded it off by saying she wanted to avoid an argument for the sake of FIL and we should all just drop it. Then she then discovered via a mutual friend that we were hurt and annoyed with BIL and his fiancée for not acknowledging the pregnancy and in the spirit of burying the hatchet decided to pour oil on the fire by skyping BIL and having an extended bitching session about us and how dare we be annoyed with them for ignoring the pregnancy.

Well I’m assuming this is what happened because last night we received a rather long email from the fiancée in which she admitted that they had been purposely refusing to acknowledge the pregnancy. BIL was throwing his toys out of the pram because he found out about the pregnancy via my facebook wall and “other family members” when we should have hired a singing telegram or a sky writer to put it in 20 foot tall letters to break the news to him.

Now I can’t speak for the husband but for me personally there is a LONG history of antagonism and bullying where BIL is concerned and given his reactions to my pregnancies with the boy and with the squishy one I wasn’t going to be in any great rush to share the news with him. We may be related by marriage but he is most certainly not my friend, nor someone that I would wish to have any sort of relationship with whatsoever given the choice.

The fiancée also complained that we had spoken to another family member about it (we actually haven’t) instead of coming directly to them. Erm…. does she see that BIL has been throwing a 3 month long huff and then discussing it with other family members instead of us? I’ll just write this in the other room since they are already up on the cross….

But in a victory for personal growth I wrote a similarly long reply where I pointed all of this out but in an unfailingly polite manner. I took no shit. Yeah for me.

You know I don’t even care any more. I’m the way I am, they are the way they are, there’s an incompatibility of ethos and moral code there somewhere that is unlikely to be resolved in our lifetimes. I need to let experience triumph over reason and lower my expectations where BIL is concerned, and be grateful that he is around 3000 miles away.


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