13 and then some….

So we went for the scan this morning and had to wait for over an hour to be seen. I was handed one of those hateful sample pots by a midwife and told to go pee.

Seriously, I know universal containers are cheap, but as a method of pee collection, especially for a woman, they are dreadful. You will without a doubt end up peeing on your own hand while trying to fill them (just to clarify I googled this image. I didn’t photograph it myself). If you are very lucky and giving a specimen for microbiology analysis you might be given a sort of bright yellow funnel attachment but if you’re just a bog standard preggo, giving a bog standard sample it’s one of the white lidded pots. It’s a cruel joke, especially when you reach the stage where you can’t even reach your lady parts any more.  Anyhew I digress. I went off to fill the hateful sample bottle, had to stand outside the “Specimen Toilet” waiting for whoever was in there to finish, she came out and BLURGH!

I didn’t hear the water running in the sink, I didn’t hear the toilet flush and lo and behold I was met by a toilet bowl and seat liberally sprayed in urine with a wadge of used toilet tissue in it. I had the joyful task of flushing, cleaning the seat, washing my hands, giving a sample, flushing and washing my hands, and washing my hands again before I had to go back into the waiting room and sit opposite Little Miss No Toilet Manners for the next 45 minutes. I would have made a comment but she was wearing a tracksuit and large hoop earrings, as was her partner (well the tracksuit bit, not the earrings) and I was scared they’d hit me or something, but seriously, blurgh. Who just doesn’t flush a toilet? I mean I didn’t even hear her attempting to flush it so it’s not like there was some sort of fault. Gross.

Well eventually I got in to see the consultant and she was absolutely lovely. She did a quick scan and laughed when she found Poppler lying sleeping on the placenta like it’s a pillow. Poppler is measuring a little bigger than my dates (her scan put me at 13+4, rather than the 12+6 I think I am), so she has moved my due date to the 4th of July. I can only hope the baby doesn’t choose to arrive in the middle of our annual barbecue or I fear my in-laws may never forgive me. The husband did not react at all well to my suggestion of flame grilled placenta steaks. I still think my dates are correct but I guess it’s not an issue unless I go overdue so I’ll cross that bridge when I come to it.

So that’s it, she doesn’t want to see me again until the 6th of July assuming I haven’t given birth before then.  I feel even more left to my own devices than I have before. The consultant used to see you at 32 weeks (or was it 36?) anyhew apparently they have now decided to drop these appointments, so it’s anomaly scan at 20 weeks, midwife at 28 week and I’m not sure what beyond that.

The big white thing is the placenta. Looks comfy.


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