Reasons why my brother in law is an ass

I’m torn. On the one hand I want this blog to be a realistic reflection of my experience of pregnancy but on the other, I don’t want to be one big negative extended bitching session. The big problem is pregnancy hormones make me want to bitch, they seem to remove the inhibitions I have the rest of the time about letting people know when they are annoying me. I’m a very passive person you see, I avoid confrontation as much as possible and tend to quietly stew about things that are getting to me. I find the quietly stewing part so much harder when pregnant.

I have a complicated relationship with some of my in-laws. We didn’t get off to a great start. Some of them were quite hostile to me actually. I was nothing but friendly but got a lot of cold-shouldering, no interest at all in the Boy either when I was pregnant with him or after he was born, and a total lack of involvement when it came to organising my wedding. I asked one sister-in-law if her daughter would be a flower girl for us. She didn’t say no, she jut never replied at all. Things only changed on my wedding day, suddenly they started to treat me like I was actually a person. Just to be clear I’m not including my husband’s parents in this, it was his siblings that were always the issue. One of his siblings, his brother, continues to be a bit of an issue.

He was especially nasty when we first got together. He was also the one to greet the news of our pregnancy with Squishy with the comment “You two need to learn how to use condoms.”

He’s greeted the news of this pregnancy with….. nothing. Absolutely no comment, no congratulations, nothing. Not one word from him or his fiancée. I mean seriously, I commented on a photo she posted on Facebook of their Christmas tree for Christ’s sake, but they have said absolutely nothing about my scan picture. The husband theory is that his brother is huffing because we are due in July, the same month that his brother is getting married, and that we’ve stolen their thunder. I kind of think brother-in-law can suck it up, he chose to get engaged on my 30th birthday (which was a Wednesday, so an odd night to go out to dinner and propose) and they’ve booked their wedding for the day after our anniversary, because they met on the 18th of April… so it makes sense to get married on the 18th of July…. apparently….

I don’t know if he is huffing, but I think it’s pathetic. To be honest I think rather than being annoyed about us being due a few weeks before his wedding I think he’s annoyed that we’ve beaten him to the first properly “legitimate” grandchild (I was pregnant with Squish when the husband and I married). He’s rushed his wedding because they are keen to start a family and have to do things “right” including having the first legitimate grandchild because he’s a pathetic suck-up. Ah maybe I’m coming across as a raging bitch here but if I listed the whole litany of things that this particular brother-in-law has said or done to me and the husband over the last couple of years you would completely understand why. He is a nasty piece of work, a bully, and the sort of person who takes great delight in putting other people down, embarrassing/humiliating them, making them the butt of jokes to make himself look big. I can’t bear being around him, but despite all this I have remained nothing but unfailingly polite around him.

Still I guess I am hurt and I’m angry, and I’m so tempted to say something, except I think it would just ignite a feud with the rest of the in-laws and since I get to avoid brother-in-law 99% of the time (he moved to the states about a year and a half ago) I can maybe let it go, as after all I do have to spend quite a bit of time with the rest of them.

Hopefully my rage will have eased before he rolls into town in July and I’ll be a in a chilled out, blissed out Earth mama state, or I may just keep my placenta so I can throw it at him.


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