Cycle day 3 I think.
The ambiguity around the miscarriage has left me fairly confused. I don’t know where exactly I am in this cycle. I’m not sure when to say it began. It’s annoying, I spent an awfully long time waiting for my fertility to return, had to guess around a lot of dates, got pregnant, miscarried, and I’m still no clearer about what is going on with my body. I have to play the guessing game again. I guess I started to miscarry over a week ago when I got the blood result that showed the levels were falling, do I count that as CD1? or do I count the day that I got a negative test?
I did ask the doctor about trying to conceive again but he went with the party line of wait one cycle. I didn’t expect him to say anything else so I wasn’t going to press too hard for answers.
So whether it’s entirely logical or not I’m going to go with the day that I got the negative test as CD1. Of course I don’t know if I’m going to have a normal cycle, I’m still breastfeeding so it could be weeks or months before I ovulate again. I really wish I was friends with a gynaecologist or that the internet was more like the computers on Star Trek and you could ask a direct question and get a reliable, evidence based answer, but alas it’s not so I just have to muddle on.
So what’s the plan for this cycle? Well I’m staying away from the soy isoflavones. I don’t think they contributed at all to the miscarriage but I don’t think I need to be messing with my hormones right now either. I’m also staying away from the agnus castus/vitex. That’s partly from a not wanting to muck about with my hormones perspective, but more so because I’ve run out and don’t really have the time/money or go get more. I am starting on the evening primrose oil again, continuing with the folic acid and the vitamins B6 & 12. I’m chugging down a daily glass of pink grapefruit juice again. I’ve ordered a bunch of OPKs from eBay and I have my Clear Blue Fertility Monitor prepped and ready to go, though I haven’t decided whether or not I’m going to use it yet (it is not friends with irregular cycles and mucho ambiguity).
I am SO unimpressed with being back here and staring down the barrel of a loooooong cycle. I do not enjoy checking all the fertility signs and generally all the effort that’s involved in TTC, but I guess if I want a baby this is what I gotta do.
Just wish I had a better idea of where I am.