I admit, you have to be a pretty dedicated squinter to see the progression in these tests, but I assure you, the lines are there, even if they are ridiculously faint in the early ones (and maybe not so convincing later on).
It’s sending my mind into a paranoid overdrive. I want blaring pink lines, apparently even a digital isn’t enough to convince me. I think when you suffer a lose, you lose some innocence and worry dogs you until you hit 12 weeks.
I’m probably going to keep doing tests until I get it confirmed by the doctor. Yay for the HPT companies, boo for my bank balance.
I feel so emotional right now. I think I randomly burst into tears at least half a dozen times yesterday, and I don’t want to wish my life away but I do want to fast forward a bit. I’m hoping it is all good signs that I conceived on my son’s birthday, confirmed it with a digi on my husband’s birthday and I’ll be 12 weeks on my daughter’s birthday. Okay it’s not exactly scientific….
I need to shift the focus away from obsessing over pee sticks though. I’ll be honest I wasn’t the healthiest individual in the world during my other pregnancies. I was obese and I continued to eat quite badly. I worked very hard in the last year to shed the excess weight and lost 93lbs in total but a few of the old bad habits have been creeping in over the summer and I have regained a bit of the weight (about 7lbs). So now I really need to think about nutrition, about eating healthily and well. I followed the Weight Watchers programme to lose the weight and I’m going to continue to stick with it, using my maintenance points and a couple of extra because I’m still breastfeeding. My best friend (with whom I share too much) has agreed to be an activity buddy for me as well and we’re getting set to take regular walks and swimming sessions today. I’m determined to face this pregnancy in the best shape I could possibly be in, especially since I have a toddler to maintain as well. I’m also determined to actually do my kegels for once.
I’m spending some time now googling and working out a meal plan for myself to follow.