Adventures in Pee Sticks

It’s coming up to my son’s 3rd birthday soon and he has announced that he would like a lego cake. I’m fairly new to baking, it’s only really been in the last year that I’ve truly tackled cakes and bread and bagels and the like. I decided that I probably needed a test run to work out how exactly to make a lego cake so I set off to Tesco yesterday to get the ingredients.

After I picked them up I was mulling around the shopping centre and I went into the Pound Shop for the mooch. I spotted a stack of pregnancy tests for the princely sum of £1.30 each. So along with a giant Hannah Montana savings tin (I have a 9 year old daughter) I took a box of pregnancy tests up to the till and finished up my shopping trip.

I’m not really sure why I bought them. Fertility Friend still doesn’t believe I’ve ovulated. I don’t believe I’ve ovulated, but I’d been feeling a little sick and a little crampy and a little headachey and well… they cost £1.30.

I went home, started making the cake and forgot all about the test until a few hours later when nature called.

Now, Pound Shop tests don’t inspire me with confidence. I know it’s a snobby thing, I think we’re all sort of inclined to think non-branded items are a bit below par (though I can attest since the recession began I’ve fully embraced the own brand products when I’m shopping).

And above is the test. It shows some fancy dan looking pee sticks on the cover, believe me the contents do not reflect that. Inside it contained two of those little strips that you have to collect your urine to dip them in to rather than just whizzing directly. They are commonly known as internet cheapies as you can buy stacks of them on ebay or similar. There is much debate about how accurate they are and how prone they are to evaporation lines but every hardened TTC-er will have bought them at some point. Some even have huge stockpiles of them.

Anyhew I did the first test. It looked like this

There is a line there and it appeared right away. Faint but definitely there. I went into a bit of a flap and texted my best friend and co-POAS addict to shout “Dude! Dude!!! I need you dude!!! I think I’ve got a BFP”

My husband was out at the time you see, and he is not a fan of squinting at my pee sticks.

My friend duly raced over with some Superdrug tests (reported to have a high sensitivity, of 10 miu). Of course my pee was much more dilute now than it had been when I took the first test so I got myself a BFN.

Then I did what all sensible people do. I held my wee for four hours and did the other cheap test I had sitting in the bathroom cabinet. I got this

This time it’s pretty obvious. A lovely pink line. Even my husband could see it from across the table and he didn’t sigh or shake his head at me once. He seemed fairly convinced that it was indeed a positive. He then began to muse that maybe I didn’t ovulate but his superior sperm just kicked in an ovary and dragged an egg out – because he’s that good.

Yes dear.

I still didn’t want to believe it though. The line is there because the test is faulty, it’s there because the test was cheap, it was there because I had asparagus for lunch and had the wicked smelling asparagus pee. I did go to bed last night feeling a wee glimmer of hope.

First thing this morning I tested again.

I got this

Nada. Zlich. Bugger all. BFN.

Well maybe a shadow, maybe if I squint and turn my eyes inside out I can maybe see a little something.

And now all it is sporting is a rather fine evaporation line.

I just knew it was too good to be true.

I’m a bit gutted and I really don’t know what to think. Maybe asparagus does cause false positives?

My plan for today is to return to that Pound Shop, but there is method in my madness. I am going to buy 3 tests. I will pee on one, my non-pregnant best friend will pee on another and finally I shall make my husband pee on the third. If we all get lines then I know the tests are dud and at the very last it will save me from splashing out on fancy dan expensive tests. No pun intended with the splashing out.


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